Bob Wertz

March 3, many years ago, my mom died unexpectedly. In perhaps one of the greatest understatements ever, I struggled with her loss. Some days, I still struggle with her loss.

I discovered that on March 3, every year, I was grumpy. Kinda pissed off. And in general, not a fun person to be around. So I declared the day “International Bob is Grumpy Day.” Gave it a silly name. Explain to people how I’m feeling. I told coworkers that it probably wasn’t the best day to ask me challenging questions. Or rely on me to be particularly tactful. In short, March 3 was the one day a year that it’s best to leave me alone. It worked. People left me alone, and I, predictably, was grumpy.

March 3 was also my grandmother’s birthday. I’d call her and she’d mention how much she missed mom. And usually, I’d tear up. Maybe the anticipation of the call was what made me grumpy. I don’t know. Over time, I became less grumpy on March 3. Still sad, but I was able to understand the grief a little better. Decades heal. In my most recent job, my coworkers understood, but also didn’t let me sit in my office alone.¹ They worked hard to keep my spirits up.

This year, I’ve decided that it’s time to retire International Bob is Grumpy Day. Instead of sulking, we are taking a day trip with the whole family — my oldest is home from college on Spring Break — and I’m going to enjoy the company of the people that I love. And take pictures. Because honestly, that’s the way mom would have wanted it.

Bob Wertz is a creative director, type designer, Ph.D. student and researcher living in Columbia, South Carolina.