I’m tired. It was a long semester — working full time and taking two classes is always challenging. But one of my classes was much more work than I expected. My son’s lacrosse experience was chaotic, poorly scheduled and quite frankly, not fun at all. I’ve failed at my goal to get healthy by my 50th birthday. Things haven’t gone great professionally. The world seems to be burning down around us. I’m tired. Exhausted. I feel it in every bone of my body.

I’ve always thought that the cure for tiredness was rest — and I will get some vacation time in this summer — but I think it’s more than just taking days off and ignoring work emails. I think the “cure” for this type of tiredness is hope. Hope that things will improve. Believing that I’m headed in the right direction. When things seem bleak, it’s easy to feel worn down. Tired. Hope lifts us up and moves us forward.

Over the last few months, I lost hope. I struggled to find the positives. It was so incredibly hard to move forward… to shake the tiredness… to focus… to be productive…

I need to remember why I’m working this hard.

I start a new summer class on Monday because I’m so close to being done with my Ph.D., I just need to keep going. Before I know it, I’ll be Dr. Bob. We have one more week of lacrosse and then we are basically done with organized sports until October. I’m still thinking about how to get healthier, even though I’ve failed time and time again, because I know I will feel better when I get there. I’ve got some new typeface designs that I’m working on that I’m excited about. Work is in the midst of yet another seismic shift, but I’m optimistic that the changes will be an improvement. Our government and the world is still a dumpster fire, but I’m hopeful for small signs of resistance.

Right now, I’m still tired. I’m hopeful that soon, I will get better.

Bob Wertz is a type designer, Ph.D. student and researcher living in Columbia, South Carolina. He’s been blogging since 2008.