Happy.

What it’s like to have three kids…

This post was originally posted on November 13, 2015 on Sketchbook B. It’s reposted here as part of a project to move some of my favorite writing to my new site.

I get asked a lot what it’s like to have three kids. Mostly from people with two kids thinking about whether they want to have another. Sometimes, the question comes from younger couples who are thinking about having kids.1 And I always struggle to answer.

My standard answer is that when you have three kids, you have to switch from man-to-man to zone. You lose a little control. You are outnumbered. And while that is completely accurate, it sounds scary and intimidating, which isn’t at all what I want to communicate. I love having three kids.

My other answer is that with three kids, how far apart they are really matters. I’ve had friends with three kids under four years old. For us, our oldest was seven when her brother was born. Those are two radically different situations. But that doesn’t really answer the question.

Sunday morning, an interaction with the kids gave me the answer I was missing. We were waking up and getting ready for church.

Middle child: What are we doing for breakfast?

Me: I don’t know. We’ll probably have a small breakfast now and maybe go to brunch after church.

Youngest: WHAT! We can’t go to a restaurant! We need to go to church! (He LOVES Sunday School.)

Me: We are going to church. We might go out to eat after church.

Youngest: Why can’t we eat at church?

Me: Because they aren’t serving breakfast at church.2

Oldest (from another room): We’re having breakfast at church?!?

And that’s what it’s like having three kids — like adding a person to a game of telephone. It gets a little bit crazier. Funnier. Unpredictable. Often delightful and occasionally frustrating. But never boring.

Bob Wertz is a creative director, type designer, Ph.D. student and researcher living in Columbia, South Carolina. He’s been blogging since 2008.

  1. When my wife and I got married, we weren’t sure we wanted kids. ↩︎

  2. And I was very surprised when they actually had breakfast at church. ↩︎

Beautiful fall day on campus.

Saturday morning sketching.

Post-haircut frozen yogurt. One long. One short.

Ready to go.

Stormtrooper selfie

Clearly Rapunzel.

Help me please.

Little short for a stormtrooper.

New mechanical pencil from @jetpens.

Pine

Bridge closed.

Bridge at front of neighborhood was under water this morning. Shockingly, this is improvement.

You get what you test for…

Drawing of a broken pencil on a green striped background

This post was originally posted on September 29, 2015 on Sketchbook B. It’s reposted here as part of a project to move some of my favorite writing to my new site.

A few years ago, I stopped at a fast food restaurant in rural, upstate South Carolina where a car was circling the drive thru over and over and over. She’d drive up to the ordering station and wait a second. Then the car would drive to the window, pause, and then drive around again. This happened a couple of times. It was very strange.

When I walked in, I nodded toward the car at the window and asked what was going on. The woman shrugged, obviously embarrassed, and said “Just improving the drive thru wait times…”

Lots of people wonder how something like the Volkswagen 1 emissions test scandal can happen. It’s actually very simple:

  1. Set a specific goal.
  2. Figure out a test to measure it: a survey, a timer, a standardized test, etc.
  3. Make sure everyone knows how important the test is.
  4. Provide rewards for people who achieve the test objectives. And penalize people who don’t meet the test objectives.
  5. Smart people will eventually figure out how to do well on the test, even if it now has nothing to do with the original goal.
  6. Management pats themselves on the back for great test results.
  7. The test no longer reflects reality.

This cycle is everywhere in business today and manifests itself in different ways. Most of the time, it doesn’t involve fraud and cheating. But this process is why:

  1. Engineers design products (cars, cell phones, etc.) that meet specific test objectives, but not real life usage.
  2. Customer service reps in banks, car dealerships and retail stores remind you over and over to answer “highly satisfied” on a random survey.
  3. Teachers teach to the test.
  4. Managers make short sighted decisions to stay under budget.
  5. Advertisers make really annoying online ads to improve click through rates.
  6. Fast food workers fake drive thru response times.

If you connect success on a metric to an employee’s financial well being, that employee will change their behavior to meet the test objectives. And yes, sometimes, if the pressure is great enough, they cheat.

I’m sure those fast food workers wanted to have good drive thru response times to make their boss happy. I doubt there was a financial incentive. Maybe if the boss was happy, their life would be easier. Or perhaps they were afraid of being fired. Whatever the reason, they cheated to meet their test objectives. They lost sight of — or more likely, were never told — the reason for the test.

The test itself isn’t the problem. Testing and evaluation is a key part of management in a corporate environment. But today, it’s really easy to test and measure everything. Over reliance on metrics in management makes the test more important than the goal. And that never ends well.

You’ll simply get what you test for.

Bob Wertz is a creative director, type designer, Ph.D. student and researcher living in Columbia, South Carolina. He’s been blogging since 2008.

  1. I’m a VW owner. My car is not a diesel, but I doubt that I’ll buy another Volkswagen even though I’ve been happy with my car… ↩︎

Trump and Paul are on campus today, but so is the Bernie Sanders Tesla! #bernmachinechallenge

Another day at the office. #UofSC

Big number! #UofSC #carolinaspromise

Carolina wins!

Found this little guy in War Memorial this morning. Blends in with the marble steps.